4 Ways We Can Pray for Our Adult Children

Praying for Our Adult Children

I wish they could have started sooner⏤the prayers for my children.

When I entered into a relationship with Christ at the age of twenty-seven, my boys were ages 6 and 2.  I desperately wanted the cycle of divorce to end with me and for a new legacy to begin with them⏤one that would carry on to future generations I would never know. So I began praying specifically for:

  • Their future spouses and their families.
  • Our sons and their future wives to remain sexually pure until marriage.
  • Them to know Christ at an early age —  by experience, not head knowledge.
  • Godly friends.
  • God to use them for His glory.

Years passed, the boys grew up and married two amazing young women with God-shaped hearts. They now have families of their own.

When the boys became husbands, I admit that my prayers were not as fervent for them as they once were. I don’t know why. Maybe without realizing it, I believed this momma’s prayers weren’t needed as much. And then I recalled separate conversations I had with both grandmothers when I was in my early 40’s. Each shared how they had prayed for me every day of my life. Wow, just wow.

How many can say they are prayed for daily? Let's be that person for our family! Click To Tweet

Today I’m sharing specific ways I’ve started praying for our sons and daughter-in-laws. I hope these will resonate in some way and inspire you to write out your own prayers.

I pray

Their hunger and thirst for Christ will only increase as they grow older

With a birthday just around the corner, I’m reminded how vital it is that I don’t become lazy in the faith. It’s not a realization that jumps out like a bad prank but rather one that eases in the back door of our heart with a pack of chips and a million excuses. I want to finish strong and I desire this for my children as well.

 

That they will grasp the depth of love God has for them

I want our children to be convinced of God’s love at a gut level because let’s face it, this truth is a game-changer, and one the enemy desires to keep hidden away in his slimy pocket.

I pray the following for my sons and daughter-in-laws, inserting their names in place of the pronouns. Whose name could fill in your blanks?

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen ________ with power through his Spirit in _______ inner being, so that Christ may dwell in _______ hearts through faith. And I pray that _________, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that _________ may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

 

Their protection⏤spiritually, emotionally, and physically

None of us are impervious to the sin that awaits us around the next corner. (The moment we believe we are, watch out!) I pray for my children to continue to grow deeply in love with Christ and with their spouses. For outside negative influences to stand at the gate of want with no hope of entrance into the minds and hearts of my loved ones.

 

A covering of wisdom and discernment

“Listen, I [wisdom] have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are right; they are faultless to those who have knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies; and nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 8:6-11

Proverbs says that nothing we desire can compare to possessing wisdom. Thankfully, we need look only one direction for this wisdom: up.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

 

Linking arms in prayer

Imagine parents like you and me linking arms on the battlefield of prayer in support of our children⏤regardless of their age. If you’re not a parent, I can almost guarantee that you are influencing some young person in your circle of influence by your words and/or actions.

My arm is extended.  Wanna join me?

 

 

What to Pray When You Release Your Work Into the World

butterfly half

It all begins with an idea.

Maybe it’s a story, a blog, a song, a ministry, or simply a more productive way to accomplish a task in the office or at home. The idea percolates and begins to take shape⏤this could take minutes, months, or even years. The idea is relentless, clinging to our thoughts like a wet swimsuit. We pray over it, say no to things we’d rather say yes to, and grab every piece of chocolate in sight {okay, maybe that’s just me} in order to bring the idea to fruition.

And then it finally happens. We’re ready to release our work.

This year, I’ve learned a few things about what this means. My first book Pauses for the Vacationing Soul: A Sensory-Based Devotional Guide for the Beach released in May. My second, Pauses for the Vacationing Soul: A Sensory-Based Devotional Guide for the Mountains just released in September. I remember feeling physically ill when I first released the books to my critique group, beta readers, and finally, Amazon.

As I continue this journey, however, I’m learning the value of anchoring certain truths into place through prayer:

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Stay focused on the why of the work.

 

Psalm 9:1 says, “I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.” When we write, sing, counsel, teach, or whatever it is we do for God’s glory, His goodness is shared in a way that only we can tell it. Yes, the same story can be told by the multitudes but it’s how we experience God’s goodness that makes our story⏤the work of our hands and heart⏤unique and personal. If our ride-or-die why is to bring God glory then the missteps and disappointments we face along the way will not steer us off course because it’s not about us, our idea, or our atta-boys. It’s all His.

Father, You know my heart. Search it. Shine Your light to find any underlying motives residing in the nooks and crannies of my mind. If they are not of You, expose them as traitors, betraying my love and excitement for what You’ve put in my heart. Help me to stay focused on the why in order to guard against the voices in my head that will attempt to defeat and discourage me. May Your goodness emerge in everything I say and do.

 

Define success in my own heart before the world defines it for me.

 

Will the book sell more than a handful of copies? How will I react to my first bad review? If one person moves closer to the Lord as a result of reading the book, will that really be enough?

These questions ran through my mind with the same energy as a caffeinated child in a toy store. I knew it was time for a come-to-Jesus moment. There, I spilled all my expectations, desires, and hopes before the throne⏤the good, the bad, and the downright ugly⏤confident that nothing I said would catch Him off guard.

We all want our time, energy, and money to matter so when numbers in the form of books sold, clients or blog visitors don’t add up, the idea can feel like a failure⏤we can feel like a failure. That is unless we defined success for ourselves before the blog was written or the business began, or the story was told.

I personally define success as being obedient to what I feel God calls me to do. One of those things is writing this series of vacation devotional books. So if the books don’t sell as hoped, I may be disappointed, but I will rest in knowing that in God’s eyes, it is a success. When I get my first bad review, I will sob shed a tear, but I will rest. And if just one person moves closer to God as a result of anything I do, I will rejoice and rest in knowing that in God’s eyes, one person is equal to the world.

Father, show me how to measure the success of this idea by Your standards, not mine. Jesus says in John 5:30 that He doesn’t seek to please Himself, only God. Would you mold my desires in a way that mirrors that of Christ? I lay down my expectations, my desires, and dreams in submission to Your plans and purposes. Be glorified!

 

Release the results into God’s hands.

 

Flannery O’ Connor said, “When a book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to save a few souls or to try a few others, but I think that for the writer to worry is to take over God’s business.” (Thank you, Marcia!)

Our responsibility is to work diligently in pursuing what we feel God is calling us to do. That’s the calling. The results of that calling, however, are God’s.

We release our work into the world and the results into God's hands. Click To Tweet

Father, it’s all Yours. The idea, the energy and creativity to do the work, and the bravery required to release it. What You choose to do with my work {for Your glory} is completely up to You. I rejoice in knowing that the definition of true success is being faithful to You, for being always trumps doing.

 

Does one particular truth from today’s post resonate with where you find yourself today?

 

 

It’s Launch Day for My New Mountains Devotional Guide + Giveaway!

Pauses for the Vacationing SoulWhen we set out to live closer to the mountains last year, there was no way to know that the launch day for my second book, Pauses for the Vacationing Soul: A Sensory-Based Devotional Guide for the Mountains would land on the anniversary of our closing date. But in retrospect, it seems fitting. Turns out, both are in the habit of making dreams come true.

In July of last year, after reading Mark Batterson’s The Circle Maker ( a game-changer, by the way), I composed doodled my dreams for our next home. No judging, please.

 

 

House Drawing

Some dreams on this page have yet to come to fruition but the house we purchased two months later did have a barn, a built-in fire pit, a spacious yard (almost four acres) and a sprawling oak tree.

The tiny house is on hold, as is the desire for chickens. (In fact, that desire has shifted toward a Goldendoodle/Sheepadoodle.) Our neighbors raise chickens so I meet her at the fence on Friday mornings for fresh eggs. Did I mention snakes are attracted to coops? Yep, I don’t mind walking to the fence.

Publishing books is a dream, no doubt⏤but plans anchor dreams, allowing them to soar to their full potential. This planner keeps me grounded.

Blog planner

Why the Book Launching is a Dream Come True
  • The book is dedicated to my maternal grandparents, Henry and Elsie Knighton. Their love for home, family, and a Sunday drive to the mountains left an indelible mark on my life. It’s one small way to say thank you.
  • The book is foreworded by Edie Melson. I met her back in 2009 when I shoved my introverted self into the closet for a few hours and attended a local writer’s group for the first time. She welcomed me from the get-go and we’ve been friends ever since. We’ve written together, slurped down lavender lattes at the local coffee shop (okay, maybe I was the only one slurping), studied God’s Word together, and joined in prayer numerous times. Thank you again, Edie.
  • It proves that if I can self-publish, anyone can. Don’t you feel encouraged?
How You Can Help Me Today {Thank You!}
  • Pray. For readers to be drawn closer to their magnificent Creator through what they see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. Also, creating the printed version this time around proved to be quite a challenge. I won’t see or hold a copy before you do, so please pray it publishes nicely. Above all, let’s pray that God receives much glory.
  • Share. Please share this post, and any Facebook or Twitter posts you might see today and in the coming weeks. There is also a designated page on my site where you can easily click and share images on Instagram and ready-to-click tweets.
  • Review. Like I said in my guest post on Edie’s site, Write Like You Believe It, Marilyn got it all wrong. Reviews are a girl’s best friend. Thank you!
Mountains MugMountains Mug Giveaway – Just in Time for Fall!

In celebration of today’s book launch, I’m giving away this uber cool mountains mug. It features a quote by John Muir (The Mountains are Calling and I Must Go) that’s included in the new book. Simply leave a comment here on the blog sharing your favorite thing about the mountains to enter. I’ll randomly draw a name using Random Name Picker on miniwebtool and post the winner on Friday via Facebook.

Your support means everything to me. Thank you!

 

Temperaments and Marriage: Guest Post by Andrea Merrell

I’m delighted to welcome Andrea Merrell to the blog today. We met in 2010 when I attended the Blue Ridge Mountains Christians Writers Conference for the first time. Her quick smile and warm demeanor made me feel right at home. Only recently, however, did I realize we live only twenty minutes away from one another.

As you can see from her bio, Andrea is one talented lady. Today, she’s sharing an excerpt from her latest release, Marriage: Make it or Break It, published by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. Enjoy! I hope you’ll show Andrea some love by taking a moment to leave a comment, letting her know which tempermant you suppose yourself to be.

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Make It or Break ItBy Andrea Merrell

One experience that helped save our marriage and enabled us to understand each other was learning about the four basic temperaments: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic.

Have you ever wondered why your wife burns whatever she cooks, loses her purse, and can’t remember where she parks? Maybe your husband shows no emotion when plans go haywire and doesn’t care when he has a black sock on one foot and a blue one on the other. Your spouse might be friendly but forgetful, dependable but moody, or confident but a little impatient. Depending on the situation, he or she might exhibit little quirks that make you want to ask, “What planet are you from?

Studying the temperaments, which first originated with the theory of the Greek historian Hippocrates (460-370 BC), gave us insight into the behavior of our children and helped us see others in a whole new light.

If you’re struggling to comprehend your spouse’s thoughts and behavior, let’s look briefly at the temperaments, along with a few of the strengths and weaknesses of each.

Sanguine (Extrovert/Talker/Optimist)
  • Strengths: bubbly, outgoing, sincere, enthusiastic, friendly, talkative
  • Weaknesses: scatterbrained, forgetful, naïve, disorganized, talkative
Melancholy (Introvert/Thinker/Pessimist)
  • Strengths: detailed, loyal, dependable, creative, analytical
  • Weaknesses: perfectionistic, sensitive, critical, negative, moody
Choleric (Extrovert/Doer/Optimist)
  • Strengths: confident, independent, self-sufficient, capable leader
  • Weaknesses: bossy, impatient, indifferent, rash, lacks compassion
Phlegmatic (Introvert/Watcher/Pessimist)
  • Strengths: calm, patient, happy, peaceful, well-balanced
  • Weaknesses: lazy, unmotivated, indecisive, hardheaded, resists change

Do you see yourself—or your spouse—in any of these categories? In the same way most people have a primary love language, they also have a primary temperament, usually with a close second. I like to say that Jesus has a picture-perfect blend of all the temperaments—all the strengths and none of the weaknesses. He has the storytelling gift and sincerity of the Sanguine; the sensitivity, organization, and loyalty of the Melancholy; the confidence and administrative ability of the Choleric; and the calm, peaceful, well-balanced nature of the Phlegmatic. His strengths are the perfect combination. This is why we’re to look to Jesus as our example and standard, refusing to compare ourselves to anyone else.

When we find out what motivates us, we can work to build on our strengths and eliminate our weaknesses. But once you discover what motivates you, refuse to use it as a weapon or an excuse. I’ve heard people say, “That’s just the way I am, and if you don’t like it, tough!” The purpose of the study of temperaments isn’t to put ourselves in a category; it’s to help us understand our strengths and weaknesses so we can become the best version of ourselves we can be.

Don’t ever underestimate your Creator. He knew what He was doing when He lovingly formed and fashioned both you and your spouse. You are His special creation, gifted with unique talents and abilities that no one else possesses. Your spouse is a one-of-a-kind individual with a God-given purpose and destiny, just like you. There’s not another person on earth exactly like you … or your spouse. This is God’s design, His perfect plan. **

** Excerpt taken from Marriage: Make It or Break It by Andrea Merrell published by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. Used by permission.

 

Andrea MerrillAndrea Merrell is an associate editor with Christian Devotions Ministries and Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. She is also a professional freelance editor and was a finalist for the 2016 Editor of the Year Award at BRMCWC. She teaches workshops at writers’ conferences and has been published in numerous anthologies and online venues. Andrea is a graduate of Christian Communicators and a finalist in the 2015 USA Best Book Awards. She is the author of Murder of a Manuscript, Praying for the Prodigal, and Marriage: Make It or Break It. For more information visit www.AndreaMerrell.com or www.TheWriteEditing.com.

 

The Life-Changing Results from Praying in Every Room of Our Home

Praying in Your HOmeThe morning I spent praying through our home back in January is a morning I won’t soon forget. Perhaps you remember this post I wrote back when limbs were exposed, and so was I.

I can’t say for sure why turmoil erupted from within when I began tapping the keys for that post. Maybe it’s because I shared about my struggle with depression. Or maybe it was revealing my fear of a test result or the fear that my prayer walk through our home may be taken as mystical rather than biblical. My guess is that pride and the enemy were vying for victory as they each tugged fiercely on the rope. Turns out, neither won.

The response from the post was overwhelming. Comments, emails, Facebook messages, etc., confirmed that I am not alone in this desire to have my home immersed in God’s presence. Nor am I alone in the desire to experience palpable peace and an underlying current of joy more powerful than the hundreds of volts running through my home.

Since praying through each room nine months ago, I’ve observed specific ways prayers have been answered.

House Prayers

Front Entry {Prayed in January}

For guests entering our home to feel welcomed and cared for by us, and ultimately, the Lord. To cultivate an open home, regardless of how clean or messy our house is at the moment. For God’s blessing and protection.

How Prayer Is Being Answered

We’ve had more guests in our home in the past nine months than we had in ten years at our last home. Trust me, I know this isn’t anything to brag about. I share it only to say that now when I struggle to open our home at inopportune times, I recall my prayer in January and quietly proclaim, This is Your house, God. Be glorified. And my soul hits the re-set button.

 

Den {Prayer in January}

For the conversations in this room to be edifying and glorifying to the Lord. To be filled with joy, laughter, and family-building moments. It was also in this room that with outstretched arms I prayed for any spirit not of God to flee, in the name of Jesus. There was no room for the spirit of fear, discouragement, or confusion in our home.

How Prayer is Being Answered

Conversations have taken place on our couch this year that I never dreamed possible. I still struggle with fear in some areas but when I had the same exact test done in July that I had in January, there was no fear.

 

Kitchen {Prayer in January}

For Brian and my family to feel loved (not cursed) by the food I prepare for them. To receive creative ideas in ministering to others through food and meals. For me to make wiser choices in my food selections. {I’m still reaping the consequences from last year’s stress-mess.} To embrace the mundane work of my hands for His glory.

How Prayer is Being Answered

With increased guests and family visits, the kitchen has naturally become busier than normal. But a special “thank You, Lord” shot to the heavens when I recently served a large meal that would’ve normally sent me running. Brian asked, “Who are you?” I smiled because I knew it was more about Whose I was than who I am.

 

Where You Create {Prayed in January}

My writing desk is in our little sunroom. I prayed that every word penned would take flight for God’s glory. To lean into, depend on, and rest in Christ for not only the work but also the results. For an outpouring of creativity. To seek to know {by experience} God more deeply, not to seek to be known by others.

How Prayer is Being Answered:

I’m not sure where to begin with this one. Since January, I’ve published two books and several more are following. Let’s just say that when I “heard” God tell me that I was treating my calling more like a hobby (on the same afternoon I prayed throughout our home), everything changed in an instant. I began working on my first book within five minutes⏤literally. Two and half months later, the first book was available on Amazon. To God be the glory!

It’s for these reasons⏤and so much more⏤that I decided to create this free e-book for my subscribers. As an added bonus, I added sensory tips for each room!

 

If you’re a new subscriber to Cultivating Creativity, welcome!

Your time is the most precious commodity this side of heaven and I do not take it for granted. Every other week, you’ll receive my post in your inbox and once a month, a newsletter with the latest happenings, a small gift drawing, and a spotlight on one of my subscribers will also arrive. (September may have 1-3 additional emails due to the release of my second book and a guest post this Thursday by Andrea Merrell.) Never hesitate to let me know if there is some way I can pray for you or for your family along the way.

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I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me as I meander my way around the learning curves associated with creating our newsletter, new books, and well, life in general. You’re the best!

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“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.” – Max Lucado

Which room in your home do you feel could use a little prayer today?