First off, I want to wish my mom a very Happy Mother’s Day! She’s a wonderful mom who taught me positive life lessons under less-than-ideal circumstances. I’m delighted to say that she is now married to one AWESOME guy!
Here are a few lessons learned from my single-at-the-time mom as well as being a single mom myself years ago:
- Never talk negatively about your ex-husband or wife (or their spouse) in ear-shot of your child. That’s what friends and family are for, if need be, — not your kids. I didn’t hear negative talk from either parent after their divorce and their unselfishness years ago continues to bless my life today.
- Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t consider marrying. You’re not only putting yourself through relationship cycles, but your kids too. When you model healthy (and godly) relationships before your children, they are more likely to follow down the same path.
- Treat your child like your child — not your “friend”. When you confide in your children with mature issues, you are unknowingly forcing them to grow up…to mature…too quickly. This isn’t their role. Find a friend.
- Choose your friends wisely, parents. They will influence your children as much as they will influence you.
- Don’t put the kids in the middle of money or other issues that should be handled by two grown adults. If your ex is late with child support, take it up with him/her directly. Bless your children by allowing them to be just that…children (regardless of age!) No child wants to be (nor should be) in the middle of that stuff.
- Find your fulfillment, joy, and desires in the Lord — not the other sex. If you are putting off your happiness until you remarry, you are also, in a very real sense, putting off happiness for your children. The old adage is true: “If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Enjoy your children, find contentment in your life where you are now, trusting that you are not alone in this journey when Christ is leading the way.
Thanks for the great examples set, Mom. Love you!