by Cathy Baker
Last year I had the privilege of leading a writer’s workshop for a retreat focused on caring for mothers who’ve lost a child of any age. I marveled at their strength, faith, and joy, despite the heartbreaking circumstances facing them every waking day.
Someone who knows much about this kind of pain is Dee Dee Parker, an extraordinary friend of mine, who lost her 34 year-old daughter to cancer several years ago. It’s because of the forever fragrance released through Dee Dee’s life that I asked her to share how joy is possible even on the darkest of days.
I remember gazing into her eyes, memorizing her face. I longed to gather her frail body in my arms, a mother’s arms, designed to protect and run away to where pain could no longer ravish, and death could not steal her life’s breath.
I remember thinking how our hearts have always beaten in tandem, when her heart stops, so will mine.
Truth:
I could not whisk her away. She was heaven-bound. Death did come; I was left behind. Brooke’s heart stopped beating. My heart continued beating, but not my will.
In the wee hours of morning under an ink-stained sky, I crumbled to my knees.
Yes, I paint a harsh picture, but that’s because so many of you find yourselves in a place so black, so painful, and appearing void of joy.
Since Brooke’s home going, I’ve been asked numerous times, “How have you continued on? How have you found joy?”
Truth is, I didn’t have to find my joy. My joy is in the Lord therefore it is constant, strong, and eternal. Happiness, on the other hand, like the fickle thing it is, had flown. I wasn’t happy seeing my daughter suffering or knowing I’d never hear her say mother again on this side of heaven.
Brooke was a believer; therefore, according to scripture, she is with her Savior and Lord. She no longer is paralyzed from cancer’s tentacles. Praise the Lord she has a glorified body, she dances in stardust. Brooke lives, and I will be with her again. I have reason to rejoice!
I pray that you know Christ, the foundation of joy; it comes by establishing an intimate relationship with Him. I don’t know your names, can’t see your faces, but I can pray for you in your time of heart-rending hurt. I will fling the words of Romans 15:13 to the very courts of heaven on your behalf:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Precious readers, I wish you all joy unspeakable.
Thank you, Dee Dee, for bringing difficult but powerful words to the surface for the benefit of others.
Friends, Dee Dee welcomes the opportunity to pray for you. She also wants to make herself available to those who’ve experienced the loss of a child or grandchild by lending a welcoming ear. If you would like to contact her, please email me or leave a comment. She can also be found on Facebook.
comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort
those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we
ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4
Cathy, I love Dee-Dee also. What a phenomenal woman of grace. Dee-Dee, thank you for sharing your story with us. You are precious to me.
So, so true, Nan! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing.
Blessings to you!
Nan, your comment means so much to me. Sweet friend, you are precious to me! Love you.
Thank you for your sweet words,Nan. You are precious to me!
Dee Dee,
Thank you for letting your faith shine through your tears for those of us with similar stories. Your post is timely for many of our moms who will join together in remembrance of their children and to share God's promise of hope and healing on Saturday.
Jan James
Jan,
Thank you so much for your comment. Cathy told me of your group and how it is blessing so many. I pray comfort to all who will gather Saturday and I know His hope and healing will enfold you.
Blessings,
Dee Dee
Pain and beauty so powerfully expressed. Blessings Dee Dee
Marcia,
Your comment means so much to me. I hope to see you at Blue Ridge in a few weeks.
Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts and words of encouragement to Dee Dee.
Blessings!
Thanks for being at the conference in Simpsonville today, Dee Dee! I missed it this year. Perhaps we shall meet there again someday. You picture of Brooke was so lovely.
Linda B. Greer
Thank you for sharing, Sheri! She's a very special woman. I know you will love her…and she will love you as well. 🙂
Blessings!
Sheri, thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I am so happy we are new friends and I look forward to getting to knowing you better as well.
Blessings!
Dee Dee