Since returning from the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, my days have had more twists and turns than Disney World’s Thunder Mountain.
On my ride home from the conference, I could barely see the ground for all the clouds. Two weeks later, I was sniffing dirt.
Two weeks after that, I was back to downing coffee, tweaking chapters and polishing an introduction, only to dust the dirt off my dreams once again. I think the word disappointment sums it up pretty well.
Somehow I feel like I’m not alone.
Disappointment is one of the most common emotions we experience. A dream job fizzles, friends let us down, or life simply takes unexpected detours. One doesn’t have to look far to find unmet expectations.
And yet, it’s what we choose to do with this disappointment that determines our next steps, and even our future.
“Don’t ever let today’s disappointment cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dream.” – Unknown
From Genesis to Revelation, we read of the disappointed. Moses, David, Rachel, Hannah, and poor Elijah was so downhearted, he asked God to take his life. Disappointment can dim our perspective, resulting in long-term discouragement, the too-early release of a ministry, the loss of relationships, depression, etc.
Perhaps it’s my own struggle with depression that alerts me to its danger, inspiring me to remember the following. I hope in some small way, it will help you too.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Imagine telling a friend to “get over it” when the disappointment is so new it cries when spanked. So why would we treat ourselves any differently? I gave myself three days:
- Day 1: Embrace the numbness. It tends to clip the heels of disappointment.
- Day 2: Engage in prayer.
- Day 3: Write down the next right thing to do and the specific steps required to move forward.
This structure proved helpful for my situation. Obviously, there are no time constraints for those who grieve or a 1-2-3 formula for deeper disappointments.
Maybe you’re wondering why I didn’t devote the first day to prayer? It’s not that I wouldn’t or didn’t want to, but in a way, I couldn’t. Numb is numb. Instead of beating myself up for it (which I’ve done in the past), I embraced it as tightly as I did my heavenly Father’s love.
God knows the time required for filtering our emotions down to the point of an offering.
PRAY IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
On the second day, and the following few, I noticed how my prayers were laser-focused on writing. Such as, What can I learn from these experiences? How should I proceed with the book? Should I proceed with the book?
There’s nothing wrong with these prayers. And yet at that moment, I realized my focus was more on the writing and less on the Author. I paused, thanking God for reminding me that He’s not nearly as interested in my writing as He is with me, His daughter. It’s my heart He desires above all, not my fingertips.
REMEMBER, GOD WASTES NOTHING
My disappointment quickly faded and I’m now working on new projects. Every word is for His glory regardless of the type of book that holds them. And if I had to do it all over again, I’d still climb into the rollercoaster because some lessons can only be learned from a heavenly perspective.
- How do you handle disappointment? Please share in the comment section. Encourage away!
- If you’re the one struggling today, know that I would count it a privilege to pray with, and for you.
- Or maybe you know someone who would be encouraged by this post. Feel free to forward it and/or share.
Thank you for stopping by!
Spot on, Cathy…dirt and all. In fact, I flossed the last few bits of clay away from my two front teeth a couple days back! I thought of one other way God redeems dirt…I am reminded of it every time see my reflection! My process is quite similar to yours. I typically begin with a sudden halt. Kind of a, “Stop! Wait! Just. One. Daggone. Minute.” Absolutely great guidance, Cathy (as usual)!
I knew we were kindred spirits, Charla! 🙂 Ah, yes — the reflection. So good!
Oh Cathy… sooo sorry for your disappointment (most writers can surely understand that kind of disappointment), but happy for this encouragement for every one of us. You are an inspiration to so many people. Keep writing. Your writing always touches hearts. You bless me so much.
Thanks for your honesty and clarity! God sent this message today because He knew I needed it. You rock!!
I’m thankful that it helped you, Tammy. Praying for you! 🙂
I totally agree, Sheryl. Disappointment and writing go hand-in-hand. Understanding that before the journey begins makes it easier to “lay it down” and keep moving forward! So thankful to be on this journey with you. And congrats on your new class — great response!!!
Cathy,
Somehow we ended up with a talent that is guaranteed to offer rejections. On a continual basis. What? Why? Why me? Who needs it? But the words won’t stop, will they? And we’re back at it again. With a fresh perspective and our focus back where it belongs – on Jesus. To God be the glory in all we say, do…and write. You expressed it so beautifully here Thank you! When I get discouraged I try to focus on something else for a while. And sometimes, go back through my file of published articles to bolster my confidence : ) And then, yes – back on my knees surrendering it once again to the Master.
Don’t you give up, girl! You have come so far so fast and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you : )
You’re so right, Cynthia! Writing, as in life, is a continual act of surrender and we wouldn’t want it any other way. Thanks for your sweet encouragement. There’s no giving up here, sister! 🙂
Cathy, thank you for this post! It is just what I needed. I get hopes up and then face rejection. I have to journal my feelings and tell God how I feel, and then He always reminds me, “I’ve got a plan for you. Trust me.” Disappointment is hard, and I’m still learning how to walk through it. I’m still waiting to hear from the publishers I met with in June, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Praying for you. Keep writing. I love your writing!
Thank you, Crickett. The important thing is that you met with agents and publishers in June. I think when we do our best it’s okay to have a holy anticipation! If the doors close, we still find peace in God’s plan for us. I’m praying for you, friend — for God to bless the work of your hands and the faithfulness in your heart. Whatever comes of those meetings, to God be the glory! Love you!
Like you, Cathy, I go to the Lord to lean on when disappointment takes me down. Being in His presence is uplifting. There were times when I had gone to Him with tears of sadness and walked away with tears of comfort.
May this new project you’re working on bring you blessings as well as the future readers. Write on!
Thank you, Carolyn. Only He can transform tears of sadness into comfort.
Favorite line – “I paused, thanking God for reminding me that He’s not nearly as interested in my writing as He is with me, His daughter.” Thank you for the reminder. It is helpful to look to the example set by those who are more experienced in this life of writing.
Thank you for taking the time to share your favorite line, Kim. 🙂 Remembering that particular truth was freeing indeed! Welcome home — loved the pics you shared and I can only imagine the stories behind them.
Great post Cathy. Perfect timing. I love that you gave yourself permission to be numb and focus on how you were feeling. Remembering you are God’s daughter first is so important. I have several friends going through some tough and disappointing times right now. This post will be a wonderful encouragement to them and a possible aid to help them gain perspective of what they are going through. Blessings to you.
Thank you for sharing, Sheryl. I debated whether or not to share this particular struggle at this time and place but based on the feedback, I can only thank God for nudging me through. 🙂 I just prayed for your friends, trusting the details to God, and I hope they will be encouraged by the post. Blessings to you!