I mean, how hard could it be to install a metal roof?
We were convinced it wouldn’t be that hard⏤even with a roof that points to the sky like an arrow. Brian calls it a 14/12 pitch. I call it crazy steep.
Over the last several weeks, we’d framed, lifted beefy plywood via sheer willpower, and purchased more nails than groceries. Laying galvanized metal on top of twelve weeks of work felt like tucking a toddler into bed. The exhaustion was behind us, and now all we wanted to do was have a little fun.
But the roof cap was a party pooper.
This eighteen-foot-long piece of metal shaped like a pop-up tent was the last piece to apply to the roof and the toughest. Brian tried traipsing up the slick metal with the supposed “right” shoes but they turned out to be all wrong. We needed a professional.
But he wasn’t the friend.
That would be Shana. She is the person who “happened” to mention how she’d just had metal roof work done on her barn. I’d never seen Brian jot down information as fast as I did that Sunday morning.
But here’s the best part.
One issue stood between us and sanity: convincing this busy roofer to take time to do our small job. So when he called saying he could fit us in the following Friday afternoon we were surprised. Turns out, the roofer had Shana down for that time to finish up her barn.
But she gave up her slot for us.
What made her sacrifice even more special was that we’ve only known Shana for a short period of time. Something like this might be expected from a seasoned friend, but for someone to do it simply because she knew we had a need made it feel like a hug from above. It’s true, isn’t it?
Sacrifice is at the heart of friendship.
I fail miserably at sacrificing for others more often than I’d like to admit, but I’m thankful God never disappoints. He gave up⏤sacrificed⏤His Son so that we could experience the joy of being in relationship with Him for an eternity (beginning now!) and Jesus laid His life low so that we, in turn, could be lifted to this new life.
No friendship compares to the friend we have in Jesus. No one loves us as He does⏤no one possibly could.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
“We measure the love and friendship of Jesus by the price he paid for us.” -John Piper
We have a sheltering tree. Its double-trunk supports wide-sprawling branches, offering respite on these sweltering days in the South.
Friends are like that, too.
When we feel we’re being bombarded by the unexpected, wayward children, or a million little things⎯all at once⎯we find comfort in a friend’s touch.
When we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to thinner, prettier, more successful, Mary-like women, our friends are there to pull us out of the muck and speak truth into our lives.
So, last week, three friends came over for lunch. There was no agenda other than to catch up, encourage one another, and offer respite through lots of laughter, good food, and raspberry lemonade.
Friendships⎯like trees⎯grow, mature, and blossom in a variety of ways.
For instance, when I think of Edie, the Lily-of-the-Valley tree, better known as Sourwood, comes to mind. This tree offers beauty in all seasons. In Spring, white fragrant pearly clusters of flowers bloom profusely. In Autumn, its red leaves gloss over like shiny waxed apples. Regardless of the season of life, she finds herself in⎯joyous or downright tough⎯Edie exudes Christ. But there’s one particular characteristic about the Sourwood tree that reminds me of her. This tree is a tremendous source of nectar for bees to produce honey. Over the last 9 years, I’ve seen her selflessly pour herself, her gifts, prayers, and talents into other writers, such as myself. As God brings her own hard work to fruition, the work of countless others who have drawn wisdom and insight from her help also bring Him glory. And then they, in turn, help other writers, creating a beautiful circle of life.
Vonda’s qualities, although too many to mention (truly!) remind me of a well-loved evergreen tree called the Southern Wax Myrtle. Like the Sourwood, it too puts on a show year-round with its lustrous green leaves in the summer months and bluish gray clusters of berries in the winter. The leaves release a very aromatic scent when crushed, that smell much like a bay berry candle. Although you don’t hear Vonda complain, she sometimes carries a heavy load behind-the-scenes. But like the Myrtle tree, when she is at her weakest, “crushed” beneath the weight, there is a sweet aroma released from her soul. It’s not the fragrance of bay berry, but that of Christ. And like the Sourwood, the Wax Myrtle tree also supplies nectar for the bees. God has used both Edie and Vonda to bless a multitude of writers over the years. {Thank you!}
And then there’s Pea, aka, Dee Dee Parker. She’s my Weeping Willow tree. Her sickness earlier this year had me shedding many prayerful tears but thankfully they’re now induced by laughter. Much laughter. One interesting fact about the Weeping Willow tree is that it’s often planted by streams so that their braid-like roots will protect the bank from erosion. In the same way, Dee Dee’s prayers are woven throughout her day as she too seeks a water Source⎯Jesus. He is the only One who can ultimately refresh, restore, and renew those she lifts in prayer.
All three friends touch my life and the lives of many others in ways they’ll only know once they reach heaven.
I could learn a thing or two from these women when it comes to being a sheltering tree for others. This hasn’t exactly been a banner year for me in that department. Partly because of the new distance between me and most of my friends back in our old hometown. And in all honesty, the struggle to discover the balance for needing long stretches of writing time and life in general, is real.
But isn’t that what sheltering trees are all about? When struggles, storms, and hard situations enter our lives, we know we can find refuge beneath their branches. It is there we also find refreshment.
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9
Leigh Ann Thomas is a friend whose gentle spirit and tenacious love for Christ is evident in her life as well as her words. Her recent release, “Ribbons, Lace, and Moments of Grace…Inspiration for the Mother of the Bride” is no exception. I wish her book would’ve been available when our boys were getting married. Mothers of the Groom need a little inspiration (and a lot of coffee) too!
Today, I’m giving away a copy of Leigh Ann’s beautiful book to one blessed reader. If you are a mother of a bride {or groom} prepare to be inspired. If you know someone else in this role, inspire away by purchasing a copy for them. I can’t imagine a better gift.
Enter the drawing by simply answering the question below. I’ll randomly select a name next Tuesday!
How has a friend touched you⎯refreshing your soul⎯in recent days?
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I remember the day(s) I caught her eating crackers off the other children’s plates if they turned their head for a split second (and the adorable unrepentant grin she displayed when I caught her eye.)
I remember the night her #10 jersey was displayed on the Brashier gym walls in recognition of the 1308 points she scored during her b-ball years there. Yes, 1308 points! (I’m still convinced it was the glow-in-the-dark b-ball we gave her years ago that was the catalyst for such proficiency!)
I remember the invitation we received this past week for her high school graduation and the cookout that would follow.
Kayla’s
family has been an integral part of our lives for over 20 years now. Her
mom, Teresa, and I co-taught a women’s Sunday School class and bible
studies for years and have remained best friend’s ever since. All of
Teresa’s children feel much like my own. Her four girls feel more like
daughters and I suppose they always will.
Rach, Christi, Kayla, Steph, and Andrew
As we sat around the table last night during the graduation celebration, I couldn’t help but think of my grandmother, aka Ma-Ma (my dad’s mother) and the many life-long friends she made during her 60+ years at Fairforest Baptist Church. Throughout my life I watched as she not only loved her friends, but their children as well. I think Ma-Ma especially gravitated towards the daughters, seeing how she had her hands full with four boys at home!
Today’s “church years” don’t seem mirror those of my grandmother’s, when people remained in one church their entire lives. Nowadays, prayer partners part and families follow.
Yet, nights like last Thursday remind me that we, as the Church, are one regardless of the walls we choose to sit within on Sunday mornings. Relationships can last far beyond the goodbyes. It requires a little intentionality and sacrifice but it’s worth every effort. Our lives are richer for knowing Kayla (Miss Graduate!), her parents, and siblings, as well as other friends we no longer attend church with but remained connected to.
I’m grateful that in some ways my friendships—and the friendships developed with their children—mirror those of my grandmother’s days.
How about you? Did God bring anyone in particular to mind while reading this post? If so, I encourage you to make the effort to touch base with them. It may just be God’s perfect timing at work!
The next best thing to being wise oneself
is to live in a circle of those who are. – C.S. Lewis
This weekend, I joined a couple friends in the mountains of NC for our annual writing getaway. We stay in the same cabin each year so when we all arrive, it feels like home in a very real sense. Real because our friendships plunge far below the surface of plots and proposals.
On Friday nights, we have our “round table discussion” in the cozy den while gas logs simmer nearby. It’s a time when we share what’s really going on in our lives and how we can pray for each other. It also sets the tone for unforgettable weekends.
This year, we met a month earlier than normal. The leaves were green, refusing to lose their grip, so while we didn’t enjoy a kaleidoscopic carpeting as usual—it didn’t matter. Like the weather, our lives transition into different seasons along the way. Yet, no matter if times are bare or flourishing, true friends remain and sustain like none other.
Friends love through all kinds of weather…Proverbs 17:17 (The Message)
On Sunday morning, my friends headed back down the narrow steep driveway. Before locking up one final time I stepped into the house-length screened porch, inhaled deeply, and whispered “thank You” to the One who allowed our paths to not only cross but meld together for an eternity.
As you and I begin our week, let’s encourage one another to do the necessary “work” required to be a good friend to someone God has brought into our lives. Who knows? You might find yourself making reservations for a mountain cabin atop a high hill, lovingly known as Buck Mountain.
Where the magic happens…
Cathy Baker
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