by Cathy Baker | Ideas, Seasonal |
My paternal grandmother, Alberta Scott, aka Ma-ma, crafted the art of memory-making.
Every December certain things took place in her home. The smooth sounds of Bing Crosby and Johnny Mathis spun on the console upstairs while boiled custard simmered on the stove. A twelve-inch ball of Styrofoam decked out in olive-green velvet hung over the same doorway for as long as I can remember. And the gold pedestal candy dish in the living room was emptied of common candy in favor of peppermints.
Ma-ma made Christmas special for everyone who walked through her door. But she didn’t stop there. Every year, she loaded her Buick with homemade pound cakes, fudge, and spritzer cookies, making her rounds to those who were home-bound, lonely, and sick. Even as a little girl, I remember thinking how I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
Her gestures were simple but meaningful.
She taught me that sharing the love of Christ, especially at Christmas, is a privilege that no jolly red-coated gift deliverer could possibly match.
Over the years, I’ve tried creating ideas that worked for our family. Below are some of those ways. I’d love to read yours in the comment box!
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 13:16 ESV
- As you receive Christmas cards in the mail, place them in a bowl in the center of your table. Pick a card each night and pray for that family.
- Before your fluffy socks hit the floor each morning, ask God to help you be attentive to the divine opportunities He has for you that day. Maybe you will be the only patient person in line behind the woman who plops 20 items down in a 10 item lane. Or, the only person that shows restraint, refusing to honk at the woman who robbed you of a green light because she was too busy reading her phone. Deep breath Cathy, deep breath.
- Not only come to a complete stop for pedestrians but smile at them. It’s a nice way to let them know they’re not an intrusion on your day and that they are worthy of your time.
- Go beyond what’s expected when you hear the bell ring near a favorite store. Buy a bottle of water or a hot cup of cocoa for the person who is willing to brave the weather to raise money for those in need. If you really want to make their day, take their order for a nearby coffee shop or restaurant. The smile you receive will be the brightest gift you’ll open this season.
- Family activity: Bundle up, grab a basket and head outdoors to find objects in nature for a holiday centerpiece. As you walk, consider pointing out the details of God’s magnificent handiwork. When you return home, place a large white candle in the center, sharing how Christ is the true Light, the Light of all mankind (read John 1). Capturing ordinary moments for God’s glory releases extraordinary possibilities.
- Celebrate Advent as a family. Advent – A Countdown to Christmas, by Focus on the Family has several resources that are sure to help you get started.
- Give the gift of song. Gather friends for cocoa and go caroling! Hand out peppermint canes with tags that read, Taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)
- Exchange busy for being. For a few minutes each day, be intentionally still and quiet as you meditate on Psalm 46:10, Be still and know that I am God.
- Curl up with your favorite cup of tea and Christmas novella. After all, how can we serve others if we ourselves are depleted?
- Lend an ear⏤a listening one, that is. For those who are struggling with the season, be there. It’s not so much what you say as much as what you hear.
- Do you enjoy decorating? Take time to notice those around you who may have physical difficulties and are unable to decorate a tree.
- Gift a day. If you know someone who became a widow in 2018, create a day for them. If they’re a single mom of young children, offer to watch the children. Or plan a day that doesn’t require money — hiking, festivals, or a church Christmas program.
- “Wrap gifts” for Jesus. I was a single mom when I celebrated my first Christmas as a Christ-follower. Throughout the month of December, I jotted down specific ways I was thankful for my new life, His promises, and blessings. Each one went on a different notecard and under the spindly Christmas tree. On Christmas morning, after the boys had gone to their dad’s, I spent a quiet time unwrapping the gifts and saying each one aloud. It was a Christmas I’ll never forget. That’s what happens when one crosses over from darkness to light.
- Invite a lonely neighbor to dinner or dessert. The blessing doesn’t dwell in a dish but rather, the heart.
- Adopt a family with a deployed military parent. Being a single parent is never easy but this is especially so during the holidays.
- Write to someone who has especially blessed you this year. “More than kisses, letters mingle souls.” – John Donne. What would it mean to you to receive such a letter?
- Who couldn’t use a cup of coffee? Consider treating the person behind you in line. Not so long ago, I chose to forego a pay-it-backward moment because the woman seemed to have it all together. Why would a woman driving a BMW with impeccable style need a free coffee? (Must I reason everything out?) One divine tap. That’s all it took. God alone knows what’s going on in the heart of another.
- As you flick on your lights in December, let it remind you how Jesus is the Light of the World. He pierced your darkness and mine.
- Do you know someone who has lost a loved one this year? Consider gifting them an evergreen plant or tree. In the note, remind them that like the evergreen that retains color all year long, their love too will remain. Perhaps invite a few close friends and spend time sharing sweet memories of the person as you plant the tree together.
- Take a cue from the song Silent Night, Holy Night, and turn off all TVs, phones, and laptops. Read a book, sing Christmas carols, work on a Christmas puzzle, or bake Christmas cookies for yourself and others.
Every December, I peel open the tote that holds Ma-ma’s ball of styrofoam dressed in olive-green velvet and smile. Yes, the memories of childhood prompt it but it’s the blessing she brought to others that hold it.
Watch for the next Tiny House Tuesday! It will be my only post during the month of December. I plan to enjoy my family, merge into a new church family, prepare my heart for Christmas, and down buckets of coffee. Speaking of which…
What’s one way you/your family reach out to others during the Christmas season? Or, is there an idea above you plan to try this season? Leave a comment and your name will be included in a random drawing for a $10.00 gift card from Starbucks!
**Subscribers! Be sure to check your inbox today. A full list of family ideas for the Christmas Jar is included in your Letter from the Tiny House on the Hill.
by Cathy Baker | Faith |
I’ve never been a fan of anything that slithers.
Having lived in the burbs for most of my life where the outdoors consisted of crumbling asphalt and the occasional stray cat, I wasn’t sure what country life would bring. I know what it brought our first night⏤a colorful snake coiled up next to the steps in our garage. That went over well. (But the swarm of honey bees that swept across our backyard on a warm summer day was a sight for these city eyes.)
There’s only one thing I dread out here and that’s moving anything outdoors⏤flower pots, deck chairs, outdoor rugs, etc. With even the slightest movement, some creature inevitably dashes (or slithers) away. Let’s just say that my tightly wound shrieks have become as common as the cock-a-doodle-doo next door.
So earlier this year, when a lizard matching the color of mulch darted in front of me, I did what any 6-year-old-at-heart would do. I named it. What once caused fear now prompted a smile. How could you fear a lizard named Ricky? (Lucy, Ethel, and Fred soon followed.)
The simple gesture of naming my fear weakened its ability and strengthened mine.
Some fears are easier to name than others. Snakes and lizards are visible, but others bury down deep refusing to surface unless they’re called out by name. Like the time not so long ago when Hurricane Florence pounced the Carolinas. Reality set in that the tiny house could buckle under the high winds even though we fastened her down the best we could. All the what-if’s kidnapped my peace.
What if the tiny house is destroyed? What if she’s damaged and requires even more time to complete it? What if I can’t minister as planned?
If I wasn’t careful, the name of this fear would soon become idol.
That was hard to write, and an even harder truth to swallow. What begins as a godly desire to build a tiny space to write, play, and minister, can quietly slip beyond its well-intended boundaries without warning.
Anything⏤including good, godly things⏤if held too tightly can become an idol.
When I recognized my fear of losing the tiny house and more importantly, the why behind it, I named it⏤called it out⏤before the Lord. With that confession came a speechless comfort. And yet, I knew I needed to put a few safeguards into place to prevent it from happening again. So I sat down with my Bible, pen, a sheet of paper, and my recently humbled heart {ouch!} and put these three grace-laced steps into place:
Start mornings with Psalm 139: 23,24.
This is one of the first verses I memorized but haven’t paid nearly enough attention to in recent months. He longs to show us the way and help us get back on the right track.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
On an index card, write a scripture verse that speaks to the issue, one biblical quote, and a scripture verse on God’s forgiveness and mercy.
I try to bookend the cards with scripture because the point of confession is not to receive an emotional “beating” but rather, to reconcile with a loving heavenly Father. The enemy would prefer us to believe otherwise, so putting this safeguard into place serves as a constant reminder to rely on truth, not feelings.
My current cards include:
Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 1 Corinthians 10:14
“It (idolatry) means turning a good thing into an ultimate thing.” – Tim Keller
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Pray a tiny {but powerful} prayer.
Memorizing scripture and seeing truths can change the trajectory of our days. But prayer instantaneously melds our desire to be on the right path in one breath with the power of God, the One who makes it happen, in the next. For me, it was as simple as⏤You alone, Lord, You alone.
To name our fear we must first recognize what lies beneath it.
Do you have a go-to verse when you need to be reminded of God’s love and forgiveness? If not, that’s okay! I encourage you to find one, memorize it, and take it with you wherever you go.
Thank you for making your way up the hill to hang out with me for a little while today. You’re always welcome here.
This is the final week of giveaways in celebration of The Tiny House on the Hill blog launch and I saved the best for last. After all, what better gift to celebrate the blog than these beautiful artisan *mustard seed* earrings?
To enter the random giveaway, simply share with others. For every share, you receive an entry. If you’re a subscriber, you receive two entries for every share. Be sure to tag me!
by Cathy Baker | Faith |
Ah, validation.
Receiving it frees us.
Desiring it paralyzes us.
Seeking it in the wrong places {spouse, children, job, fame, employer) eventually crushes us.
But finding it in the right Person? It can will change your life.
I know because I’ve sought validation all my life⏤maybe everyone does. First from our parents as defined by two words, “Watch this!” Then, the teenage years hit and we find ourselves dressing a certain way or cutting our hair to appease our peers. Of course, when someone, let’s just say a friend, mistakenly uses spray deodorant instead of hairspray in preparation for a big date, the outfit doesn’t really matter all that much. *wink*
For years, I attended the Blue Ridge Mountains Christians Writers Conference in hopes of being validated as a writer. I soaked up knowledge, received life-bearing words from Donn Taylor, and even won a few awards along the way. But within weeks {sometimes hours} of returning home, the confidence fizzled.
Then one day I gave up the need to be validated.
God used this situation to confirm that I was in the right lane and I haven’t looked back since. After all, knowing I was using my time for His glory was the “why” behind the need for validation. Writers, unlike teachers or speakers, aren’t always sure that their words make a difference. And yet, we write and rest in the not-knowing, trusting God for the results.
So I thought I was all validated up after learning to rest in my calling. But…
It’s no secret I’d made a mess of my life by the time I was twenty-seven. I’ve shared my testimony in churches, quiet bible studies, and throughout different posts on my blog like this snippet. The boys were young then, two and six. As they grew older and became husbands and fathers the shame I felt all those years ago began to re-surface in subtle ways.
One particular way the enemy sharpened the sword of shame was to point out how “normal” mothers, like most of my friends, deserved unconditional love, acceptance, and respect from their children⏤but not me. I quietly accepted the sentence of being less-than as part of my consequences for making sinful choices that had directly affected their lives.
And yet, what mother doesn’t desire all of these things from her children?
Without realizing it, I sought their validation in hopes of being accepted as an imperfect-but-flawed-mother-who-loves-them-to-pieces.
Then this happened.
Last week, while alone for a stretch of days, this need for validation from my sons came to light. I knew I didn’t feel this way because of something the boys had done or said⏤it came instead from my desire to be understood and loved unconditionally, whether I deserved it or not. I prayed, not exactly sure what to do with my newfound knowledge. And then, in a way I can’t explain but can only confirm, the Lord “spoke” loud and clear:
Your validation⏤Your acceptance as a mother⏤is found in Me, not your boys.
I sat stunned for a few moments as tears fell and joy arose.
This truth⏤that your ultimate validation and mine are grounded in the acceptance we have in Jesus⏤frees us to be the wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and friend God always intended us to be.
Is there some area in your life where you’re seeking validation and coming up empty? The One who knows you⏤really knows you⏤says:
I delight in you. (Psalm 149:4)
I sing over you. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31)
You are the apple of my eye. (Psalm 17:8)
I forgive you and will remember your sins no more. (Hebrews 8:12)
Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don’t put it off; don’t frustrate God’s work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we’re doing. Our work as God’s servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing his power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! 2 Corinthians 6:3-13 The Message
Fellow seekers of this wide-open, spacious life:
May we find our worth, our confidence, and our rest in the assurance that we are validated by our heavenly Father who cleansed us, forgave us, and breathed new life into our lungs the moment we confessed our sins.
More: 4 Ways to Pray for Our Adult Children
by Cathy Baker | Faith |
All I wanted to do was study my Bible that morning.
I’d eaten breakfast early and washed the dishes before sitting down to have some study time before we headed to church. Brian likes to sleep in whenever possible but on this particular morning, he woke up a little earlier than expected. When I say earlier, what I really mean to say is that he woke up just as I’d started my study. I greeted him with, “Good morning!” and then quickly glanced back at my study, trying to dodge the question I knew was coming next: “What did you eat for breakfast, i.e., what can you make me for breakfast?”
Let’s see. When I was fixing breakfast say, oh, two hours ago, it was eggs and toast. If you choose not to get up when the cook is cooking, you can make your way to the pantry, pour a nutritious bowl of Wheaties, sprinkle a little All Bran on top for good measure, drizzle a bit of honey around the edges and add a splash of Vitamin D milk. Enjoy!
Okay, so I didn’t say that⏤but it’s exactly what I thought while making his breakfast. After finishing up in the kitchen, I returned to my table to continue the study. I turned the page, and there it was in all of its convicting glory. The story of Jesus and the miraculous catch, found in John 21. It begins:
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
In John 21, we find Jesus appearing to His disciples for the third time after His resurrection. Peter was feeling like a failure, floundering to regain confidence in his calling, so he did what everyone should do when struggling in life. He went fishing. And the disciples joined him. Jesus called out to them from the shore but they didn’t recognize him. It wasn’t until He called out to them that John recognized His voice. Peter eagerly wrapped his outer garment around him and swam to shore. The disciples weren’t far behind in the boat.
When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it and some bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish.
Oh, to be more like Jesus. His servant’s heart threaded thirty-three years together for the Father’s glory. He came to serve, from beginning to end.
Even when conviction stings like it did that morning, I marvel at the Holy Spirit’s methods. There’s a vast difference between godly conviction and the enemy’s accusations, sometimes referred to as condemnation. When I re-played the Sunday morning fiasco in my mind the following day, I realized a battle was waging beneath it all. The battle between conviction and condemnation. It looked something like this:
The Voice of Condemnation:
- You’re a lousy wife.
- You’re lazy.
- Why do you bother studying the bible if you can’t even act {or react} properly?
- If you were more organized you could’ve prepared his breakfast ahead of time and put it in the fridge.
The Voice of Conviction:
- Did you respond with a servant attitude?
- {While reading John 21} See, Cathy, this is the way.
- Remember what we read last week about not only thinking of your interests but also the interests of others?
- Hmm, this could be a blog post. {Okay, maybe this was me, but I was hoping to help others avoid my foolish mistakes!}
So, I decided to jot down the subtle yet vast differences between the voices of conviction and condemnation. I put five of the many differences in an infographic to save or print for future reference if you wish. {The link to the downloaded version is below the graphic and is clearer than the image below.}
Have you experienced the battle between the two “C”‘s as I did that Sunday morning?
by Cathy Baker | Tiny House |
As we begin building our tiny house, I’m learning that one of the first things that must be determined is the foundation.
There are options, after all. If you want to travel with your tiny house, you’d opt for a trailer. If you want the option to move it at some point in the future, it would most likely be built on blocks or some other propped up way. And if you’re serious about staying where you live, you might cement that sucker to the ground.
Although we don’t have any plans to move in the future, we chose to use cement blocks for a couple of reasons. One is the flexibility to move it and secondly, it is much more cost efficient than a concrete pad.
So, a couple of Saturdays ago, Brian and I trekked our way up the hill to determine where the tiny house would go. We took into consideration three things:
- The view from my desk
- How we could avoid blocking the pool view
- How to allow sufficient room for a future picket fence {framing old-timey flowers!}
It’s times like these when I’m reminded how blessed I am to be married to an engineer. While he was spouting out mathematical equations in an effort to get the corners square, I was sipping coffee thinking how much easier it would be to line things up by eye. I guess you could say the tiny house falls under that blessing as well.
If you follow me on Instagram you might have noticed a red element in every tiny image. In the photo above, I wrapped the measurements in red in hopes of making it easier to visualize the perimeter of the house (9′ x 16′ + 4′ for the front porch.)
Determining the placement of the house, nailing down stakes, tying strings, leveling, and measuring took several hours but it’s worth the time. If the foundation is off, everything else will be as well.
The next to-do was not nearly as much fun, especially for the hubster. He dug down into the southern red clay a few inches around each block, added gravel and stacked flat solid concrete blocks as close to the level string as possible. I enjoyed hauling off the dirt in the wheelbarrow. It reminded me of days when I spent a lot of time working in the yard. And my back reminded me the following morning why I need more exercise.
Finally, the leveling is done. What made this Saturday workday so special was having my dad come over to help. Can you believe he’s 76? Growing up, we enjoyed doing a lot of projects together. We planted tomatoes and peppers in the backyard greenhouse, cared for an organic garden (before organic was cool), and fished on red banks of clay. I’m thankful the memories continue to build as we work on the tiny house together.
Dad gave me a firm foundation for life and now I see how this also ties into the building of my #lilredwritinghouse.
Structural integrity is required for life and tiny houses alike. Without it, there will be little to show for it in the end.
Thank you for joining me on this journey! If you’re not following me on Instagram, I’d love to meet you there @cathysbaker. And if you missed the backstory post to this tiny journey, you can read it here. Once a month, I also create a newsletter that includes a column called Tiny Tidbits. In it, I share behind-the-scenes tidbits that aren’t told anywhere else. Receive your copy by simply adding your email address in the sidebar slot on my blog. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Is there something in particular about the journey you’d like to know or see? I’d love to read your comments!
